Free Country?

It’s great to live in a free country. Well, let’s think about that. This is NOT a "down on the USA" rant, just a reflection of the reality that civilization brings with it an awful lot of mostly self-imposed restrictions.

We are so used to these that we largely overlook their existence, but we delight, sometimes too much, in enforcing them on each other.

I was driving to church last week, and passed by a house with a handmade sign in the yard “Toby and Mary’s Community Group.” Of course I had to wonder what insidious counter-cultural activity was taking place under the guide of “Community Group.” Lots of fun possibilities raced through my mind ( vegetarian jugglers, wife swapping, poetry reading, communists, or maybe vegetarian, wife-swapping, poetry-reading communist jugglers), but in fact it could have been, and probably was, just plain, ordinary Christians meeting for a Bible study. I surmised that they were embroiled in some sort of controversy with neighbors and the city zoning commission due to the number of “visitors” and the associated parking problems.

Think this is a free country? The student group I advise at my university has been trying for several years to perform some fundraising. They got the football team to autograph a football to be raffled off. Not allowed – that’s considered “selling” the names of the team. (Not that it can’t be done, it just has to be done by the U. so they get all the money.) They tried to sell doughnuts and coffee. Nope- health code, taxes, exclusive licenses, etc.. They tried to set up a little store in the electrical engineering building to sell electronics parts. Nope – need authority from the governor, several senators, the IRS, and probably the football coach, who knows.

If you really want to explore how free our “free” country is, try starting a business. I mean, starting from scratch. Find a nice piece of land. First hurdle – zoning. If the zoning matches the exact type of business you intend to pursue, purchase the lot. You will discover lots more restrictions and requirements at this step, especially if there is any credit involved. Build a store. Try building it yourself. How many different inspections will you have to pay for and pass, but probably won’t the first three times because the powers that be are in bed (sometimes quite literally) with the local builders and really don’t like to see folks doing their own work? Got the store built – great. Now, get all your annual operating licenses. Get your state and federal government tax ID numbers. If you intend to hire anyone, get ready for a veritable flood of paperwork, requirements, licenses, and more restrictions. The fun never stops. Oh, and make sure you keep up your landscaping and have the right amount of green space, buffer zone, and porous cover.

In our “free” country, it’s fun to send a child to “free” public school. How many hundreds of dollars do you have to spend on mandatory supplies throughout each year?

I know most of the ordinances and public policy are designed to minimize conflicts and maximize quality of life for everyone, but some are just onerous. I’m especially offended by neighborhood “covenants” that dictate such petty things as forbidding residents to own vehicles with lettering on them. We have friends who were afraid to be cited by their neighborhood association because their garage was too cluttered – there were a couple of kids toys visible from the street. A fantasy of mine is to make a lot of money and buy one of these houses. One night I would erect a huge plastic Mickey Mouse on the roof, then spray paint the outside pink and orange. I would set up plastic pink flamingos all around, and park a pickup on the lawn with some clever business signage, like “John’s Septic Cleaning and Pressure Washing.” Some chickens feeding in the yard would top it off. Then in the morning I would take small home-made cakes to all the neighbors. Ah, what fun to contemplate.