Christmas lights

I have been promising Tammy I would put up outdoor Christmas lights for years. I finally did it this year, but not without trepidation, a la Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation. We have an older house with very limited electrical circuits, and no outside receptacles. After consulting with a relative who is an electrician, I was somewhat encouraged to learn that I could legally (though not necessarily safely) use my outside light fixutres as receptacles. On a nice day recently I went to the hardware store, where I sifted through the seemingly infinite variety of lights - LED, rope, mini, crystal, etc. to find just the right assortment. I wanted to make a refined, upscale statement, to the effect of "yes, your neighbors are putting up lights, but don't worry - we're NOT the goobers who design an entire outdoor panorama with flying Santas that attracts thousands of people a night and makes it onto Youtube. We are much more gracious and refined than that. We know this isn't that type of neighborhood." But then I realized how cheap they are. I brought home 1500 lights for our little front yard. I also got three 50-foot extension cords, adapters to convert light fixtures to receptacles, GFI multi-tap outlets, a timer, and....oh, my...I went kind of crazy. But on the bright side, the nice man in Home Depot offered me $25 off my purchase if I opened a store account. I figured hey, I'll save money AND I don't have to tell Tammy how much I spent....right now. The most fun purchase was the cable tacker tool, which costs $20. It's a staple gun with a channel in the center which makes it easy to staple light cords, using special staples. Anyway, I got the lights strung along the split-rail fence, the eaves, and various other structures. We got out the lighted, animated buck (gift from Tammy's Mom & Dad) and hooked him up too. From a certain angle he looks like he's grazing on the multi-colored lighted wreath on the cross-shaped flower hanger, but the theological implications are not intentional. I was extremely nervous about flicking on the outside light switch that operates the whole thing, but it went smoothly, and even seems to work fine (so far) after a heavy rain. I haven't told Tammy about the 150-light multi-colored, 16-function light set I bought to decorate the shed. That's my surprise for next week. I wonder if there's a 12-step program for holiday light addiction.

Long Nap

I just woke up from a long nap and discovered some guy named Obama was elected president, General Motors is nearly bankrupt, my Mother died, and one of my closest friends is really ill. I think I'll go back to sleep.

OK, first let me check on my retirement fund..... AIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!